THE BIG DAY!!!!

The big day has come and gone. We're back from out honeymoon, and I have a thoussand pictures that I was too busy to post before.

Mobile Uploads is back in business!

SERIOUSLY. NOT APPROPRIATE.

This issue was addressed in a previous post. There is never a time when it is appropriate to sleep in public. And it's certainly not okay to fall asleep face-first into a plate of pizza. I was with loyal contributors Ren and CMcKee (whose photo is proudly displayed above) and we all agreed that this man was obviously dead. Even after he roused himself and lurched away, I wasn't entirely convinced he was living.

STRAIGHT PIMPIN'

I don't know what you heard about me but I'm a mother-fuc*ing P. I. M. P.

Thanks CMcKee.

MORGUE

I feel like sleeping in public is dangerous, be it on the train, in a restaurant, or at the mall, as pictured here. It's especially dangerous to sleep in public if you look like a corpse. And what about the second guy? He was walking by, saw a man passed out on a chair, and thought, "You know what, that's an excellent idea."

REALLY REALLY

Here's another view of Hillary Duff's most inappropriate fan. I had to post it due to the hilarious eye that conveys how we all feel about that shirt on that guy.

FASHION

Keeping with the inappropriate topic, here's another submission from C McK, the Prosti-tot. First of all, those boots are unacceptable on any occasion. Oh, and also, those aren't pants, honey. They're not even shorts. They are UNDERPANTS.

AMERICAN DREAM

Also in time for Halloween, the costume that defines a nation. What parent doesn't want their daughter to don this costume and strut around the neighbourhood? This makes Uncle Sam Proud.

Thank you to CMcK for this one as well.

BUT DOES IT COME WITH A PAPER HAMBURGER?

It's what you're afraid it is. The Hoff, paper doll style. Note the hairy chest. I can send the template to anyone who requests it, and you, too, can own The Hoff. (Yes this was at my desk.)

SOFA KING GROSS

He looks like he posed for this. Not so. This was taken with great discretion, in order to capture the HORROR of his fingernails. Without exaggeration, they were at least five to seven millimetres long (1/8 to 1/4 of an inch, for the American fans). Sadly, he turned his hand just as I snapped the shot. And it was the end of the line so I was denied a second chance. I was so grossed out. So. Grossed. Out.

PARKING LOT-TERY

Where else but at Wal Mart can you find a station wagon filled with shopping bags and plywood?

SPOT THE STAIN

You may wonder why this photograph is on here. Looks like an innocent Jiu-Jitsu tourney. Let me give you a hint:

Liquid diet for two weeks to make weight + half white shorts = grave embarrassment

REALLY?

Why yes, I am wearing a Hillary Duff t-shirt. Thanks for noticing.

WHY I LOVE BUMS

I walked almost two blocks out of my way to catch a photo of this guy. I spotted him while waiting for a a light to change, and when I got to the other side of the street, I stopped and pretended to rummage through my purse until he went by, and then the stalking began. I'm sure by now you're questioning why I would follow a bum for blocks. Look closely at the picture, the white thing that resembles a go mug is actually a skull of an unidentified animal. And it was wearing a collar. That's why I would follow a bum for blocks. After I took this, I had to run back to work. In high heels.

STRUNG OUT

The problem with camera phones is they tend to miss some of the beauty of the actual subject. At first glance, this is a picture of a couple of sketchy characters outside the Chocolate Bar on 17th ave, but upon closer inspection, you will see that the man in white has the ass torn out of his jeans. And if you had seen him live, you would be led to believe, as all the other viewers of this photograph, that he had lost the seat of his pants in some kind of sex-for-drugs exchange. Especially if you had seen him twitch across the street.

UNDA-CUVAH GRANDMUTHAH

This is one of my more famous photographs. I've been asked if she's for real. As far as I can tell, she's either deep undercover or all too real.

FABULOUS

Elton John called. He wants his sun glasses back.

MY BROTHER THOMAS

As much as I would love to say that this a stranger and I got my hands on this photo, I can't. This is my brother Thomas' last day on the rigs. He decided to go out in style. His driller was nice enough to capture it and send it to me.

I particularly like that there is another phone in the frame, which has obviously just snapped a winner.