WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I have found several untold terrors (like the winky cup) at the Curious Cat Antique Mall, but this, THIS is just beyond comprehension. I hate it.

WULFRENICE

What could be more terrifying than the package of a chocolate "Magic Elf"?



How about what's inside the package. A warty elf thing smiling creepily at you. I almost couldn't eat it from terror. Almost. But it was chocolate.

CAMILLE

This is just me, but if my terrifying zombie dog went missing, I wouldn't be posting signs with hopes of getting it back.

HIGH FIVE

In case it's not immediately obvious what the deal is:
Mattress box - check
5some - check

Thank you to my brother Thomas who I hope did not buy a five-some in a box.

A SLOW WEEK

There is something about me that you may not know. Dolls creep the living eff out of me. I hate them. So I am giving to you, constant readers, an album of terror.
Behold the Dollies.

This one I hate because of it's troll-like face and camel toe.

I don't know what this one is doing. Yoga or listening through the box. Either one is creepy.

I hate it.

I hate this one more.

Congratulations. It's twins. Run for your life.

This one is the absolute worst. I hate it so much.

This one is disturbing. Look mommy, I'm doing it doggy-style.

If you're thinking to yourself, "Geez, they're just dolls. What's the big deal?"
Here's the big deal. Head on over to this nightmare and be sure to check out all the albums. Want one of your own? Click here.

GOOD FOR YOU

I would love to know what this kid doing in his (her?) spare time that when the teacher says, "Tell me something about yourself,", he replies with, "I can hold a live chicken."

HOT?

On sale at a children's store. Holiday songs and carols sung by a very creepy bird lady. I don't like it. Not one bit.

MMMMMM... ALL NATURAL

There's no better feeling than going to someone's house and finding this in the sink. Looks like someone's been taking a page out of the Natural Harvest cookbook.

(Turns out, it was mayonnaise)

HAND JOB

Oh, you want a manicure? Just have a seat here in my penis-hand chair and I'll get right to you.

CRITTER CONGA

There's nothing like turning into an aisle and seeing a pride of angry cheetahs ready to rip your face off. I especially hate the disembodied ringleader on the top.

WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY SAY?

Thanks Ben.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Please explain to me how this :

or this:

has ANYTHING to do with Christmas. Too me, this is more of a Halloween/Horror show sort of thing. Those "elves" are CREEPY.

BEEN THERE. DONE THAT. GOT THE T-SHIRT.

Runner-up to the most inappropriate sign ever. I don't think it should get the tiara because it's not catering to children.

However, there is this:

If you're extra nice to the ever delightful Ren , he might take you down to Liquor Box. And believe me, he knows the way.

UMMMM...

Here's something you don't see every day...

SUCKA

Look closely. That guy is DEFINITELY sucking his thumb.

A WINNING COMBINATION

Beer, bullets and chainsaws. A killer idea. From the always lovely Cray.

BOXCAR DELIGHTS

Hobo Beans: the maple flavoured jelly bean. Why anyone would think hobos taste like maple is beyond me.

Here they are in the display box. Notice that there are some missing. And what do we have under the display box?

Why, it's Bacon Beans, the bacon flavoured jelly bean.

And just to be sassy, there's also Bacon Gumballs. My favorite, if you look carefully, is the strip of bacon blowing a cannibalistic bubble.

CHICKA CHICKA WHAT?!?

Ah. Christmas candies. 'Tis the season ... Wait. What's going on with Santa and that reindeer?

Let's look at this from a different angle:

Yep. Santa is definitely giving it to that reindeer. How festive.

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY

Once again, a submission from C McK. She claims this was made by a five year old and it's a Santa hat. That's clearly what it is.

PS - Santa, if you're reading this, I'd like your hat for Christmas please.

INAPPROPRIATE

For $15, you can go to the Canada Olympic Park ScreamFest and not be scared out of your mind. You may, however, see some of the most child-unfriendly images you will ever see at a child-friendly event. Evidenced here, we have the spooktacular Terror Under The Big Top. And what's that on the side? Let's take a closer look:

Yes, I see. Dr Frankenstein's lesbian creations. In eye-popping 3D. They weren't in there, by the way. The killer clowns on the other hand, were in there. In eye-popping 3D. And they were terrifying.