THE BIG DAY!!!!

The big day has come and gone. We're back from out honeymoon, and I have a thoussand pictures that I was too busy to post before.

Mobile Uploads is back in business!

SO... CAN I GET MY BALL?

Found on the boundary of the Sundre golf course. From my personal experience with the town of Sundre, I'm guessing trespassers are shot on sight.

Thank you to Ren for losing his ball in the field.

WORST DIET EVER

What you can see: Exercise equipment in a store front.
What you cannot see: The wording on the sign above - "Zack's Pizza Parlor".

*I almost want to break down and add the picture I took with my real camera. In order to protect the integrity of the "camera phone photos only" rule, visit this link.

THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH

Ugh. The Calgary Stampede. Everyone whores themselves out to it.
(Go to this site. I dare you.)

AT LEAST THE WINGS ARE CUTE

Because life isn't hard enough for geeky little kids.

NEW DRIVER

Thanks for telling us, but really, we'd prefer if you didn't block half your rear window with the announcement. I know you're new and all, but you do need to SEE out of it.

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I have found several untold terrors (like the winky cup) at the Curious Cat Antique Mall, but this, THIS is just beyond comprehension. I hate it.

HOW'S MY DRIVING?

Probably pretty terrible if you have scratched off the phone number one would call to report you.

WULFRENICE

What could be more terrifying than the package of a chocolate "Magic Elf"?



How about what's inside the package. A warty elf thing smiling creepily at you. I almost couldn't eat it from terror. Almost. But it was chocolate.

DESPERATION

Yes. I'm sure there is nothing more delicious than lobster in Saskatchewan.

NO!

We stopped here for gas on our way to lovely Swift Current, Saskatchewan. There were in fact public washrooms (which Ren used and found wanting), there were no kids or teenagers, with or without parents.

If you look closely, you will see that somehow the proprietor managed to screw up the quotation marks (and no I don't mean by misusing them) by somehow managing to make the first one the infamous "69".

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

What mother wouldn't be overjoyed by the thought of a piglet on a spit for Mother's Day?

I bet Mother Mck was very appreciative. Thanks, C McK!

DANGER DUE TO: FAB - U - LOUS

This is my first reader submitted photo to come to me. Well, from a reader that I don't know. Thank you Anonymous Submitter, who ever you are.

Men working doesn't really seem like a reason for danger, but GAY men working, well, that's a different story. I picture Miss J, Nolé Marin, and Jay Manuel wearing hard hats directing everyone to be FIERCE.

4EVRR29

And apparently forever illiterate. I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but these two are OLD.

FREE STUFF

Wow. A free washing machine. That's not going last long,

BIG NEWS!!!!!!

Yes, friends, as of tonight, I am engaged. Sorry it's not strikingly out of the ordinary, but it's too exciting not to share.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY...

...You will die. At least they left the instructions behind.

APRIL FOOLS?

How?

EW

They probably only needed one sign or the other.

EUPHORIA

There's nothing like hot nuts sent anonymously through inter-office mail.

Thank you, My Cousin Sarah.

BABY PRESS

This is where baby oil comes from.

SERIOUSLY. NOT APPROPRIATE.

This issue was addressed in a previous post. There is never a time when it is appropriate to sleep in public. And it's certainly not okay to fall asleep face-first into a plate of pizza. I was with loyal contributors Ren and CMcKee (whose photo is proudly displayed above) and we all agreed that this man was obviously dead. Even after he roused himself and lurched away, I wasn't entirely convinced he was living.

CAMILLE

This is just me, but if my terrifying zombie dog went missing, I wouldn't be posting signs with hopes of getting it back.

HIGH FIVE

In case it's not immediately obvious what the deal is:
Mattress box - check
5some - check

Thank you to my brother Thomas who I hope did not buy a five-some in a box.

HOW DO YOU SPELL SPECIAL?

S-P-E-C-I-A-L
(Said in a very sarcastic voice.)
(PS - I've been waiting for this for SO long, Craymore...)

Thanks again to My Cousin Sarah.

COLOUR BLIND

How can I write something about this without seeming like a racist? All I know is negro is not pink.

A SLOW WEEK

There is something about me that you may not know. Dolls creep the living eff out of me. I hate them. So I am giving to you, constant readers, an album of terror.
Behold the Dollies.

This one I hate because of it's troll-like face and camel toe.

I don't know what this one is doing. Yoga or listening through the box. Either one is creepy.

I hate it.

I hate this one more.

Congratulations. It's twins. Run for your life.

This one is the absolute worst. I hate it so much.

This one is disturbing. Look mommy, I'm doing it doggy-style.

If you're thinking to yourself, "Geez, they're just dolls. What's the big deal?"
Here's the big deal. Head on over to this nightmare and be sure to check out all the albums. Want one of your own? Click here.

STUCK ON YOU

This is a sign in a hospital. The hospital I had the distinct pleasure of walking out of alive, despite the odds. I like the warning right under it to cover your mouth whilst coughing or sneezing. I'm assuming this is what happens if you don't.

THE BLUE MENU OF LIES

Sign says, "Temporarily out of stock"

Survey says, "Definitely in stock"
A big thanks to My Cousin Sarah for exposing the lies of SuperStore.

SAVE YOUR SPOT

You're lucky it was that close at a paintball/laser tag establishment.

BOXERS OR BRIEFS?

This is Snoopy on a pair of boxers. Or is it...?

Thanks C McK.

GOOD FOR YOU

I would love to know what this kid doing in his (her?) spare time that when the teacher says, "Tell me something about yourself,", he replies with, "I can hold a live chicken."

HOT?

On sale at a children's store. Holiday songs and carols sung by a very creepy bird lady. I don't like it. Not one bit.

TRANQUILITY

Ah. Nothing more relaxing than a cool dip on a hot day. On sale for $119.00. I don't know who deserves credit for this one. Ren took the picture, but only because I had left my phone at home.

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

Ahhhh, Christmas is over. That means it's time to pack up all your decorations for the year. All of them. Even the table runner you're using as a shall. I don't care how much you liked it. Put it away.

SIGN, SIGN, EVERYWHERE A SIGN

The picture is not very clear, but the sign does say "Marrissa's P/U and Del" among other things. I realise that it more than likely means "pick up" but when you have a restaurant that doesn't specify what you specialize in and the sign says PU, chances are, business is slow.

And on the topic of "business is slow", if you have a barber shop and the sign says "specialized in flat tops", chances are, you too, are not going to make it through the recession.

MMMMMM... ALL NATURAL

There's no better feeling than going to someone's house and finding this in the sink. Looks like someone's been taking a page out of the Natural Harvest cookbook.

(Turns out, it was mayonnaise)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Yes. It says "Greatwall's Premiun"
Also, "Product of China"
Still unopened on the wine rack.

OPTIMISM

This is winter in Canada. Note the plume of exhaust coming from the back of this car. The guy attempted to drive out of that mess. I watched him. I pulled over to watch it.



The snow won.